check this out:midway albatross
it's amazing to me...
i'm digging robin's newest album. robin guthrie just got it off amazon.
i plan on going to the beach tomorrow with a book & this music, all by myself.
i've lost it.
i have no control over what is going to happen.
funny thing...
keith told me today that he's surprised that i let this happen.
with how much i control my life & how i am a bit determined on how things go,
that i would let this guy get to me.
he's surprised saying that "i need to grow a pair".
that was a bit shocking to me but made me realize how soft i've become.
i've let my guard down and now it's being threatened.
i need to gain control again &, as he puts it, play hard to get get.
i guess i've become to easy to the sway of another.
i must agree with his that i've never let that happen before.
well, i say never, but we all know that it has happened before.
what am i supposed to do? be guarded all my life.
i need direction. good thing i have great friends who can tell me when i'm being a girl.
on my way to deb's now so i can get a tongue lashing ;-)
she'd better not do the i told you so dance.
i will lash back.
whatever you do.
]]>i 've had this misplaced feeling in my heart for years now
this longing for something that i used to have.
something that i dream vividly of.
you know, if you're a collector freak like me, tearing through those used record bins for your favorite lp or 12" from long ago. well my obsession is of the 80's, mainly old school goth of the 80's. ;-)
only those that truly love can truly relate.
I just recently, like 10 minutes ago, hooked up my old record player, dusted off my old lp's & fav 12"s & fired up the turntable. i am so unbelievably elated...kinda like a school girl on a day that she knows little fuzzy orange & white striped kittens are being brought to show & tell. like that giddy ;-)
i am in rapture of all those old 12' i could not find or do not have on that fancy mp3 format we're all used to.
here's my list of the past:
-she's in parties 12" mix - bauhaus
-16 days, gathering dust- this mortal coil
-emma- sisters of mercy
-curious guy - legendary pink dots
-blacklist - legendary pink dots
-in shreds - the chameleons
-love is the slug 12" - fuzzbox
-princess cold heart - legendary pink dots
-mauritia mayer - sex gang children
-fireworks 12" - siouxsie & the banshees
-something inside me has died - kommunity fk
-go! - tones on tail
-born in xiaxix - nina hagen
-for love - lush
-millimillenary - cocteau twins
-heroes (long 12")- bowie
even those pops & scratches of the vinyl cannot take away from that true stereo. the kind that you heard at helter or any other random goth club way back when.
alien sex fiend, virgin prunes, love & rockets, xmal detushland, my life with the thrill kill kult, & kmfdm,,, they're all to come.special mention to b movie & their classic nowhere girl 12" long version...which is hard to find i might add...
oh i'm so happy ;-) the spangle maker can never be heard as well as on 12" with all those peaks & curves. there's a reason for 12" singles. it truly is the sound that makes it. the remastered cd version comse close to it but without all that nostalgia.
and that what makes it for most of us.
take a listen to charlotte somethings by the cure on 12' & you'll appreciate it. it's just not the same as on cd. the song itself become more powerful on a 12" piece of vinyl. that's why the call it vinyl fetish.
& i'm knee deep...
once again.
(outro song:end credits: just a life time - legendary pink dots)
i haven't decided if i want to delete this blog or not. no one reads it anymore. when i return from vacation i will decide... oh & speaking of vacation. i'm off for 7 days of doing nothing! ray & i are going to the gorgeous Oregon coast for a week. well i hope to god it'll be gorgeous. ray really needs a break from life here. i could use it as well. i've been really cranky lately. mentally i'm already on vacation ;-)
i can't wait
recently i've been reading this book by David Sheff called Beautiful Boy. it's about drug addiction. Not his but his son's. it details what the family goes thru when someone is struggling with addiction. it's the first time a book made me cry. before this book i finished the other side of addiction, through his son's eyes. it's a book called Tweak. it details what his son had to go through and his strugglei highly suggest these two books to anyone who wants to know more about the effects of methamphetamine on people, mainly on families. i suggest both to families who have endured addiction & for those currently going through it. i suggest these books to both addicts & recovering addicts. it's at times a difficult read. it was, at times mirroring my own life. i can understand the boy's side of things, obviously. what struck me was how i couldn't understand the parents side of addiction, but how i could relate to this father's life. i guess it's because i'm growing up & such. i will recommend these books to my family because i think it could help them understand a bit more on what they had to go through 10-15 years ago with both myself & my older sister.
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